oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
