and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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