Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
