And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
