I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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