I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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