In the future we'll all be gay
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
