If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize