is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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