im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
