Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
