I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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