my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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