Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
