If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
