i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
