Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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