Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
