he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
