I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
is wine microwaveable?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
