I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
