Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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