I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
