how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just had sex on a roof
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
