Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
