Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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