I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Two words: blizzard sex
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
