And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
