I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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