I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize