Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
