I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
