im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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