The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
