I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
