I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
