i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
