There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
