It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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