$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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