I met the friendliest cop last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
When did angry sex become our thing?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
