i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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