you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
