this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
