Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
