That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
