Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
