U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
