I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
