I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
