So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize