oh god the rape fog is back!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
