so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
