But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize