just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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