THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
