so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize