her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize